Etiquette Basics

A man in Delta Tau Delta must always demonstrate that he is a gentleman. People outside of the Fraternity should be able to associate your actions as a Delt with those of a gentleman. As such, it is important to understand and practice some guidelines for etiquette. There are many aspects to proper etiquette that should be taught throughout your time in the chapter. This lists some basic etiquette guidelines that will be essential for you in your time as an undergraduate and for the rest of your professional life.

When meeting someone for the first time…
Your handshake should be firm. You don’t want it to be too weak, as this can imply a lack of confidence in yourself. Also, you don’t want your handshake to be too strong so that you hurt the other person and they view you as too aggressive. A simple firm handshake will suffice.

When a guest or woman enters the room…
You should always stand when a guest or a woman enters the room. This demonstrates respect for a visitor in your chapter house or chapter meeting. A woman should always be treated like a lady, and gentlemen should acknowledge this by standing when she enters a room.

When introducing two people who have not met…
Introductions should follow the rules of deference. Basically, the more “distinguished” person is introduced first. So, if you were introducing your roommate and your mother, you would say, “Fred, I’d like you to meet my mother,” then, “Mother, I’d like you to meet my roommate, Fred.” Fred defers to your mother for two reasons. First, she is a woman, so the other person is introduced to her first. Second, she is the elder person, so the younger person would be introduced to her first. If, on the other hand, you were introducing your mother to the President of the United States, by the nature of the President’s position, you would introduce your mother to the president first, regardless of her age and gender.

When wearing a nametag…

Allow any women at the table to first be seated. If needed and appropriate, assist her with her chair. Do not sit until the women or hosts are seated.
Your napkin should be placed on your lap as soon as you are seated.
If you have more than one spoon, fork, or knife, a simple rule for this is to start from the outside and work your way toward the plate. If things become very confusing in this area, observe other people at your table, particularly your hosts, and mimic their actions.
Your glass is on your right, your bread plate is on your left.
When you are served any course, wait until everyone has been served before you begin eating. It is appropriate to begin eating once the women or hosts have begun.
One piece at a time is the rule. You should cut your entrée or meat one piece at a time. You should not cut the entire steak into small pieces, then eat them one at a time. Similarly, your bread should be buttered and eaten one small piece at a time. You should not butter your entire piece of bread or roll at once and eat it by breaking off pieces or biting the roll.
Be sure to make polite conversation. The purpose of most dinners is not necessarily to eat, but to socialize with others. Do not overly try to impress the others at the table. If you are uncertain of a topic of conversation, do not attempt to be an expert in that area, but simply observe.
When passing items at the table, pass to the left of you. If you are the first person with an item, such as a bread basket, offer to the person on your right, then pass to the person on your left. An exception to this may be when the person on your right requests something near you. In this case, it would be unnecessary to pass an item around the entire table.
If you excuse yourself during the meal, your napkin should be placed on your chair, not on the table. Also, if a woman excuses herself from the table, you should stand when she rises, and when she returns to the table.
When you are finished with the course you are eating (salad, entrée, etc.) your silverware should be positioned in the 10 o’clock and 4 o’clock position. This is a signal to the server that you are finished and that he or she may clear your plate.
If you are still eating, your silverware should be placed across the top of your plate or in an “X” position on your plate. This is a signal to the server that you are still eating and he or she should not clear your plate.
If alcohol is being served at meal, beware of your consumption. A gentleman will refrain from overindulging in alcohol and potentially making a fool of himself or others.

In your language…
Your language reflects not only your Fraternity, but also your personal intellect. Using profanity, however slight, can disparage your image with others. Also, as you are associated with Delta Tau Delta, your language reflects the Fraternity and profanity reflects on your brothers as well.

In your attire…

In college, there are several occasions that will require various styles of dress. As a Delt and gentlemen, your attire should be appropriate for the situation. While class may at times feel like a casual atmosphere, a Delt’s personal appearance can demonstrate to his professors his level of commitment to his education. A sloppily dressed man who rolls out of bed and throws on a baseball cap before class is demonstrating to his instructor that he does not respect the instructor or his own personal education enough to prepare for the day. However, a Delt who is well groomed and alert for class will be demonstrating that Delts are interested in learning and furthering their education. Your attendance and appearance in class may assist you in your relationship with your instructors, especially if you may be struggling with a specific subject.
For a job interview, research the company. Find out what the office attire is and try to dress one step above typical working attire. In a job interview, it would be better to be overdressed than slightly underdressed.

There are many more guidelines for etiquette and protocol than are listed here. While you are an undergraduate Delt, your chapter may educate you in these further. If not, it would be in your best interest to learn these skills and practice them in your chapter setting.

Etiquette is an essential skill to learn. Your membership in the Fraternity gives you an advantage in learning these skills before you enter the job market. While you are an undergraduate Delt, you may attend conferences, formal dinners, or other formal events where you can observe and practice these skills. This is an opportunity that many non-Greek students do not have. By learning these skills now, you will be better prepared for the professional world upon graduation.

Etiquette Basics

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